Hooters is CLOSED!

I was walking to the police station to register for my Alien Employment Permit (外国人就业证).  Now I have a little brown book saying that I’m a frigging alien. Anyway, as I was saying… I was walking to the police station when I saw a notice on a glass window. Being curious, I took a glimpse. In some broken English,  it said something to this effect:

Hooters Restaurant in HZ is closed for the time being… due to the heavy subway construction in front of it.

Aiseh, do they really have to close it down?! I thought I could drop by one day and enjoy some mountain and valley scenery.  Not to mention seeing them waiter dancing YMCA on the tables. X^D

Young man, there’s a place you can go. I said, young man, when you’re short on your dough. You can stay there, and I’m sure you will find Many ways to have a good time. It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A. It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A. They have everything for you men to enjoy, You can hang out with all the boys … It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A. It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.

Speaking of which, did you know that the YMCA Song is a gay song? Eee yerrr…!! To quote from Wikipedia:

Taking the song at face value, its lyrics extol the virtues of the Young Men’s Christian Association. In the gay culture from which the group sprang, the song was understood as celebrating the YMCA’s reputation as a popular cruising and hookup spot, particularly for the younger gay men to whom it was addressed.[1] The song has continued to remain popular due to its status as a disco classic and gay anthem [...]

I ain’t dancing no YMCA song no more, yo!

theYOungMan

P.S. *hums the YMCA song subconciously…*

King of Pop

pictar plagiarised from theMArktrix.blogspot

I first seen the news on a friend’s MSN nick. I thought geee… what’s with that? I didn’t believed it.

Then, the moment I stepped into the office, a colleague shouted to me: ”迈克杰逊死啦! Hmmmm…”

My response was is he really dead or a fake dead?  Then I read the news in Yahoo! News. MJ really is dead. Haih…
A comment I read said it well: Kings die young.

But to me, he’s been dead long ago.

A few of his MTV made huge impression on me. Thriller, Black and White, and the MTV where he turned into a leopard and back into human multiple times in the video.
Good stuff, and I’ve never seen more creative MTVs. I like his songs, but too bad I’m not a huge fan. Perhaps I’ll drop by a record shop nearby and check out his CD later.

Go to my buddy’s blog: Marktrix. His a huge-huge fan of MJ… and is a bit emo over the sad fact that MJ has left forever. Please go and console him.

Obamark, lets go sing his songs in karaoke when I’m back in KL, and reminiscent a bit… shall we?

theFAn

Hardwired brain

I was getting in the passenger seat of a car. Then I started grabbing and pulling the air on the left of my ear… trying in vain to reach for the safety belt.

Then I remembered I’m in China, where the passenger seat is on the right… and thus the safetly belt is placed on the right too. LOL!

Some personality test

Got this from Mayzism ans Shaolin Tiger.

Don’t know accurate or not, but all these quizzes are filled with positive and nice thing to say about me… So I take that that it’s all true! Woahahahahahah!

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
Got

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that’s why you’ll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You’re a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you’ll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don’t succeed. Don’t give up when you haven’t yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Stalked!

I have a gut feeling that I’m being stalked by a psy-ops agent. zOMG!!1! I believe my life is in grave danger!

Serious one lah! You think I’m joking ah?! Dayumm… wait lah, after I tell you what happened, you’ll know I dead serious one. S00000 serious, can die.

Sssshhhhh… *looks left and right cautiously*
*Whispers* I think that that psy-ops agent is living in the same house as I am. She’s pretending to be the maid of the house.

Eventhough she has that numb-skull-nutcase-self-deprecating laughter after she tries oh-so-hard to say something funny. She’s actually hiding behind a façade! She’s trying to make me let my guard down so that she can pounce when I’m at my most unsuspecting moment. [Repeat to self: must be extra aware!]

That cunning lady is like the witch queen that poisoned Snow White with that poison apple! 扮猪吃老虎 (Cantonese: ban jee sek lou fu)

There’s something she puts in the food that makes it unsafe for consumption. I’ve managed to find out that it is a kind of mineral (thanks to my food science background). And surprisingly, it’s widely available—it’s called Sodium Chloride! It doesn’t kill immediately. It causes chronic symptoms in the long run. Some of the major symptoms are hypertension and renal failure.

Sodium Chloride is not the only compound she uses. She also put in a lot of triacylglycerol (TAG) when cooking. Donch pray-pray with this stuff. It’s extremely potent, and the effects are just as horrible. And it makes the food tastes good so the victim actually doesn’t know what hit them until it’s too late! It increases the low-density lipoprotein in the blood, which subsequently deposits calcium plague on the artery walls.

Then “WHAM”… one fine day I’ll just have a terrible angina or half of my face becomes paralysed! And this TAG sh1t is especially dangerous on me. I’ve recently found out that I have a 0.4mm polyp in my gall bladder. A normal, healthy person would’ve easily emulsified TAG and get it through the system before it does more harm. I can’t do it fast enough… next thing I know—”WHAM!” I’ll be going through rigor mortis in a wooden box.

Sodium Chloride and Triglyceride have a synergistic effect. They are commonly used together to wreck havoc on another person’s life. Many times, the victim dies an agonizing & slow death. *Gulp!*

I also believe she is using the 2 above substance for another purpose. A more sinister and wicked motive—”psy-ops” a.k.a. brainwashing/psychological warfare. Because she found that her psyops isn’t working well on me, she used those substances to weaken my will so that I’ll eventually submit to her command.

Also, I’ve noticed that she’s been trying to plant some funny ideas into my mind! She tells me that I don’t have to wake up so early to go to work because the boss lives far-far away. Like, WTF?!

At first, I just do the left-ear-in-right-ear-out technique. Then it became more and more frequent, as if she’s trying to nail that concept into my brain with a sledgehammer. She also tried to stop me from going to the gym to exercise because she saw me training. She said that I am expending too much energy to lift weights (I told you she was stalking me! I’ll elaborate more in the next paragraph…).  Thank goodness I’m an angmoh sai (Hokkien: gwailoh sh1t=banana)… so my frequency of thoughts is different from hers. Making me semi-immuned to her attempts.

One day during dinner, she casually let slip that when she was taking a walk, she dropped by the gym to check me out! She even described how I was exercising! OMFFFFG! She is trying to put me off balance by suddenly telling me she’s observing. Make me paranoid, so that she doesn’t have to monitor my movements when she’s not around! [Must..... remain... *shivers*... calm......]

thePAranoiac

P.S. In case I become insane from all these substance overdose and brain-psycho stuff, please tell my family *sob.. sob.. sniff.. sniff* that I……
*Uh, here she comes, I gotta run…

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AAAaaarrrrrrrggghhh!!!!!! NOOO000000…….!!!!!!

Miracle in China

This is a miracle.

I can finally access my weblog in Ch1na.

The Gre@t F1rewaII of Ch1na had previously blocked my weblog. I suspect there are too many profanities and politically charged contents on my weblog. Eh heh heh heh!
But actually hor, it blocked the whole WordPress. I can’t access nuffin’ on WordPress at all. 

Then today I mood datang, so I decided to check again…
Abra-cadabra! Alakazam! Poof! Wham-bam-kabam! Lo and behold… I posted this post!

Yippee yay yay! I shall go to Hooters to celebrate!
BTW, there’s actually Hooters Restaurant in Hangzhou. Amazing! And they do the YMCA song on table tops. CS, Henry, Bernard… are you jealous yet?

Check out these Youtube…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP_LrdoCtyE

Jolted awake

~Edvard Munch’s The Scream~

It’s bloody 4am in the morning and I’m jolted out of my sleep. Feeling emo gila babi. I was thinking about an issue when I was trying to sleep just now, and it turned into 3 dreams. Lucid dreams. Dreams that are quite real, and that you can control the events (or at least your actions).

By the 3rd one, I tak boleh tahan anymore. If I go back to sleep, I’m going to have more of these weird sh!t. No sir, thank you.

~Van Gogh’s The Starry Night~

It’s just irritating and disturbing that this little issue kept stirring & spinning round and round in my head like a hyperactive crazy tadpole high on drugs and steroids that never stops swimming. I can distract myself with activities and things to do. But if I have a lapse in distracting myself, the tadpole rages again.

Right now, it’s a just a bunch of jumbled emotions spinning in a whirlpool that looks like Van Gogh’s The Starry Night (look at the swirling and twirling of the night sky, that’s how I feel in my guts) and Edvard Munch’s The Scream. Thank goodness I’ve got a sister that doesn’t sleep at 4am. X^D

the INsomniac/

Race

I just watched the Petronas Merdeka advertisements produced by Yasmin Ahmad. The Yasmin Ahmad who speaks Cantonese. The Yasmin Ahmad who directed the movie Sepet.

They were hilarious, the ads. A series of interviews with children around the age of 8-10 (I think).

These children were asked about their friends, their relationship (I didn’t even know what is a relationship until I was 15 X^D ), and what is race.

Their reaction reflects the bunch of rascals, ooops I mean err… kids I am teaching right now:

“Hah? 什么来的?” (Huh? What is that thing [called race] ? )

“老师，什么是 kaum 和 bangsa?” (Teacher, what is race?)

I would normally just give them a Mandarin translation of ‘race’… which is 种族.

Then more questions would come. And I just can’t seem to make them grasp the concept of race, no matter how hard or how long I try to explain. And I’m glad that they don’t know. They simply don’t care. They see other kids, they just join them and run around together.

Despite all the racial slurs that I utter carelessly when I’m around friends, I never say any of those things to these children. And I always encourage them to be respectful towards people of other religion and culture. I don’t want them to grow up becoming cynics and racists like me. (Eventually, the reality of Malaysia will erase my efforts. But I hope I manage to delay the process. =)

So why is our KNNCCB-FUBAR-gahmen is still trying to play along the racial lines? And what’s worse… we adults (supposedly more wise/learned/educated/civilised/cultured) suck up to the gahmen’s bullsh!t.

You go eat sh!t lah, stupid BN! Our country could have been great and strong and rich and prosperous.
But look at us now. None of the elder people I spoke with encourage me to stay & work in Malaysia—our own country. And all of my friends have got a secret plan/hope/wish to migrate or work in a foreign country. This like so ‘WTF?!’

My form 6 teacher, Pn Mazlini mentioned that she is so sad to hear that many of her brightest students have left Malaysia to work… with the intention of returning to Malaysia only to retire 30 years from now. She feels that it is such a waste that after so many years of nurturing all these talents, Malaysia doesn’t appreciate these people and let them slip away.

Eat sh1t lah, you stupid Malay gahmen! (Oops… there goes my racial slur again! X^D )

Now, go check out the hilarious & heart-warming videos in Youtube:

The love of Tan Hong Ming

Who is your friend?

How to spell dinosaur

Ikea and women

I heard this over Business FM this afternoon.

I forgot what was the DJ’s talking about, but they were asking something about men & women. I couldn’t stop laughing all the way while driving.

So this fella called in and said:

Women in Ikea is like ‘Transformers’. They buy a chair and bring it home.

And after they put it together, it becomes a cupboard.

New Year Eve Party 2009

*Click the map to view the whole map.

Please print the map. MidValley to the RM0.50 toll is about 4 km.

You can take the STAR LRT to Bandar Tun Razak station and have someone pick you up. Please car pool to save the environment. =)

A few things:

• You can bring along other friends of yours. I’d be happy have them around. Just let me know how many people so that I can prepare enough food.
• RSVP on Monday, 29 Dec 2008. <— Please RSVP.
• Do bring a little food/drinks to share (let me know). German sausages, gluhwein, KFC, nyonya kuih, jelly, cookies, etc… Anyone would like to share their Chivas or wine too? =P
• No smoking in and around the house. You’ll need to step outside the house compound to smoke. I have a nose condition, and cigarette smoke will make it worse. I’d be happy if you can quit smoking altogether.

Details:

• 31 Dec 2008, Wednesday
• 7.00pm
• satellite image map on www.wikimapia.org (use the “hybrid view” on the top left menu to see the road names):

http://wikimapia.org/#lat=3.0894366&lon=101.7174768&z=15&l=0&m=h&v=2