First, let me ask you a few questions…
- Are you female?
- Are you old?
- Are you a parent?
- Are you the weaker party in a relationship?
If you answer yes to any of the above, then you are prone to emotionally blackmailing others.
Emotional blackmail is a manipulative technique usually used by the weaker party, to manipulate those close to them. It’s very hard to explain, so an example…
Grandma to child/grandchild, “I’m old already lah, you think I’m useless. You better put me in old folks home and let me die there alone. I die better lah, then you will be happy to get rid of a burden!”
Father to son, “So you think your old man is useless now that he has no job. Fine, I’ll go live alone somewhere. I don’t need anyone to take care of me. No need you to tell me, I’ll get rid of myself!”
Mother to son, “I work so hard everyday for you and you don’t appreciate it. I might as well work until I get sick and die. You don’t care for me anyway. Then you can claim all the insurance live happily ever after.”
Girlfriend to boyfriend, “You don’t love me. If you do, you would/wouldn’t have done this.”; “If you leave me, I’ll commit suicide and make you regret forever.”
Child to parents, “I’ll run away from home. I hope I’ll get raped and robbed. I hope you are happy if this happens to me!”
Now you get a clearer picture what is emo blackmail, eh? It’s a bad thing. It destroys a relationship. People who are manipulate feels like shite but can’t do a thing to prevent it. And people who blackmails will always use it to get what they want.
So, a good way is to not pacify them. Let them make noise and pretend tak dengar. If it gets worse (it usually will… some will even threaten suicide), then you need to make it known that you will not do what they want if they continue to make a fuss.
Or if you feel particularly irritated or nasty at the moment of being blackmailed…
you could threaten them back, saying that you would literally do what they said, which is to send them away/let them die/leave the house… and wish them luck.
(Maybe that’s what I’ll do the next time me pops or grandma tries to emo blackmail me again. Heh heh!)
So, are you a victim of emotional blackmail too? Or are you the blackmailer?
(come share your story…)